Going on exchange and going to the Czech Republic taught me so much. I can't fathom what my life would be like if I hadn't gone. I don't think I would be at MIT; I definitely wouldn't be the person I am today. It was the most difficult thing I have done in my life, and I'm not sure I could do it again based on what I have learned since then and who I have become, but I am eternally grateful that I went and did have the experiences I did, even if it was a "perfect" exchange.
When I came back, I wanted to see the world, and thanks to MIT, I have had great opportunities to do so. I have been to Holland, England, Brazil, Uganda and Mexico and each experience has taught me something different. I still want to see the world, and go to places where most people don't have an opportunity to go, but working here in Mexico, however, I'm starting to realize that I think I would like to work based in the US, which isn't something I had really thought I wanted before.
The work environment is very different, and the language barrier is evident. Even though I can get around in Spanish, understand about 50% of the presentations that are given, and communicate with my co-workers in Spanish, I still am not comfortable. I know time helps with language, but it is more than that. I think I value a very diverse environment, and a place where people are very open to different opinions and voicing them. I'm not sure that is the case here. It has been a great experience, and I like the project I am working on, but I don't think I would want to immerse myself in one culture forever.
I'm also realizing that in the past 4 years, I have only lived one year at home in Colorado. I have realized this before, but now it is really hitting me that I can't really call Colorado my home anymore. It is my home in the fact that the house I grew up in is there, and my parents are there, but I don't know when, if ever, I will really live there again. I have spent, I think, a grand total of 5-6 weeks at home since I started college about 96 weeks ago. I love MIT, but being here in Mexico, away from all the people I know well and who know me well, has led me on this train of thought again.
I have no idea what the future will bring. Recently I have been accepting that I do not want to be an engineer, something that has been hard to accept. I have always thought I wanted to do engineering since I was little, but I'm realizing that although I like learning about engineering and how things work, I do not want to be the one designing things, or focusing my sights on only on project, a small part of a larger system. It is not where my talents will be best used, and I don't think I would be happy working on a technical system.
I have been looking into urban planning over the past few weeks, an area I have always been really interested in (cities are incredible) but never thought would be a viable career option. I am starting to realize that it may be.
The past three years have been an incredibly eye-opening experience, and changed my life the way that people always say college will. I was incredibly stubborn going in, knowing exactly what I wanted to do, but now I feel like I don't really know. I know what I like and what I don't, I am starting to realize what I want out of life, but there are so many options, so many paths and if the experiences I have in the past are any indicator, each thing I do from here will shape my interests and goals. I hope I have started to find a path I can go down and follow from here, but one can never be sure.
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